Being Honest, Doing Right, Being Right, Being Happy – What’ll it be?
Everyone on earth wants to be happy. That’s right, I said everyone. Those who think they don’t want to be happy are in some cases clinically depressed, mildly depressed, or suffer from some other kind of affliction(s) creating a physical, mental, spiritual, and/or emotional ill situation. It would be absurd to assume people in good spiritual, mental and emotional states DON’T want to be happy. As I said, if someone actually doesn’t want to be happy, I would propose that one of the mentioned attributes is not in tune: physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. I for one, want to be happy, and I want to create happiness for others – as many other people as I possibly can. In that pursuit, I present topics for discussion that, while they seem to have two sides to them, actually have one side to the argument. I do this to deliberately draw out the truth about how people in my charge think and feel about themselves and others.
On the topic of happiness in general, there is something we must establish. That is that different people have different things (people, situations, ideas) that contribute to the manifestation of happiness within them. Some find happiness in squalor, some in controversy, some in fostering peace, some in war, some in riches, some in giving, some in taking. I strive to get the idea across to people that to achieve personal happiness should be of the highest aim, so long as to achieve that goal one doesn’t create unhappiness in others. Truth be told, some find happiness in unhealthy ways, self-centered ways, self-seeking ways, hurtful ways; ways that are hurtful to themselves others. It has been argued that murderers, yes even murderers, want to be happy and are, in what they do, seeking that. If only they could find a way to get it without having to kill people. Everyone is in pursuit of it in one form or another. Please remember that I present topics for discussion that, while they seem to have two sides to them, actually have one side.
Recently in class I presented two notions seemingly opposed to each other: Being Right and Being Happy.
I set up the situation something like this: You are in an argument or discussion with someone, and you come to the point where you can make this important decision:
- Do you want to continue the discussion or argument because it is more important to you to prove that you are right whether you actually are or not, AND as a result end up personally unhappy and have those on the other side of the discussion potentially also be unhappy.
OR
- Do you want to accept an end to the discussion not having proven how right you may be AND as a result come out of it reasonably happy and have those on the other side of the discussion also be reasonably happy.
A few students, about 18 out of 90, said it was more important to be right in this scenario. Some of them presented other specific examples that I will not go into here, but I will say a few things in response to them all. To want to be right with the prospect of creating unhappiness in others is selfish, self-centered, self-seeking and simply cruel. It is, to be certain, spiritually, emotionally and mentally unfit to behave this way – unhealthy. You need to be corrected, guided and loved back to right thinking and acting. To that end, I request – and in hopes of creating truly healthy happiness for you and those aroundyou – that you read on.
Allow me to add an aside here, that teaching middle school can be so much fun. I am an authority figure, people look up to me. I am careful not to lead those in my charge to think as I do politically, religiously. I do however want them to get closer to the open-minded, tolerant, peaceful side of themselves. I, in fact and practice, deliberately foster these types of traits in the minds of students in my charge. Unfortunately, though, old ideas recur. And when I say this, I mean old ideas, attitudes and behaviors that I had when I was a child. I see them in my students. Makes sense, eh? For instance, I remember when I was a child, a child with a messy room, sharp mind, witty sense of humor, cutting sarcasm. I took great joy in getting under the skin of my brothers, my parents, my teachers. I was good at it too. Very witty was I. Oh, but I digress . . .
But back to my messy room. I remember that I wanted it that way and it was fun to keep it that way even though it infuriated my mother and father – I even found it amusing on occasion because it made them angry. Oh, the loads of discontent and fury I brought into that house. So much it could likely fill this quaint southern state to its deepest depths and highest elevations. I was in the midst of self-centered happiness – unconcerned with the repercussions of my actions on others. Had I accepted – been willing to accept it, ready – the value of what they were trying to instill in me, it is likely that I would have changed my ways, but I didn’t accept their wisdom. Because of that spiteful behavior, I made a lot of people unhappy, angry, sad, contentious, opposed. Of course, I didn’t care about how my actions were affecting others. It was all about me.
And these are the recurrent traits I find in the greater majority of the middle schoolers I come across these days. They are so many who are so much like I was. I found over time that I wasn’t unique then, and I am certainly not unique now. Although I always thought I was, and I still do at times.
In every block, I confronted closed-mindedness, and self-centeredness. “I want to be right! And by that rightness I will be happy” is essentially what these folks said. You might not remember this, but one of your classmates said in the first quarter, “If you can think right, then you can do right.” Universal truths. Universal themes. Across cultures, faiths, ethnicities. I have said it before, and I will continue to say it. Grow up. Stop thinking of yourselves. Think of others. You have not been given your brain for yourself, but for others. You are here to benefit the world. If it’s all about money, cars, soccer trophies, titles, medals, sneakers, endorsements, shoes, diamonds, whatever it tis for you, then go for it, but don’t live a self-centered life. Have it and give it.
It all came down to when I was told, “I will hold this against you for the rest of my life.” At that I had to pause and reflect for a moment. Exactly what would be held on to here? The idea that I was telling a child that to perpetuate an issue that creates dissent in his or her home is the wrong thing to do, creates unhappiness for others, and is not a healthy behavior? Will it be held on to that I quashed the idea that this way of thinking is not acceptable? Was it that a seemingly original idea presented by a student wasn’t original at all, and I said that flat out? Or was it that feelings were hurt when I had to tell someone in 1st block, 3rd block, and 4th block that they should get their thoughts together before they speak out loud? If this must be held on to, then so be it. Hopefully the lesson will come through some day.
Feelings aren’t facts, they pass. The time for the willful child is in your past as well, students of 2011-2012. It is time for you all to realize that you are here to serve your fellow human being. There is no room for yo to argue a point because it amuses you. Some of you took the question as a debate topic – it wasn’t one. The debate has to go on within you, until you get to the point that you concede to your innermost self that it is more importnant to be happy when what you are doing to be right is creating unhappiness for those around you. When it comes to the situation laid out above, for those who chose to be right . . . self-centeredness is at the root of your argument, and it will never be about you anymore. A self-centered standpoint will never suffice from here on out. From this time on, it is about how you can forget yourself and do something(s) for others who need your help, guidance, kindness, love, caring, and honest gentle hand. Sarcasm is the lie of the humorist. If it made you uncomfortable to be told, “you’re wrong,” then I have something else to tell you. Remember that feeling. It may come up again. When it does identify it as rooted in self-centered thought, feelings, and actions.
Respond to the contrary if you like, but know that if you do I will fervently oppose you in the interest of creating a vastly powerful selfless population to surround you and love you back to a healthy mental spiritual and emotional state.
DEUCES!!!
Mr.Moshe I want to say bye, I had a great time in your class. I wish you the best have a great summer :).
I watched you grow into a confident young man this year. Carry that certitude into high school, but never forget that you are here to serve others. Focus on your studies. Become the most complete person you think you can become. Do everything you can to develop your caring mind and heart. Then, put others first, and everything will take care of itself.
What I believe is that many people want to be happy, as shown from the “survey” taken in class. Only few were willing to be right and not surrender what they believe in. To be honest, I think that being right is a thing that can make some people be happy, like if two people were having an argument, if they were “winning”, they would be happy, but the other would be sad. This is a con of being right. Happiness’s con is that you will surrender what you believe to make the other happy.
To respond to what Tyrik said, just stop -.-
we discussed this topic in class and of all the peoples responses i think that being honest is better than being right or happy. because first of all if your honest people will start to trust you and think your an honest person and knowing that they can trust you makes you happy. everyone wants to be right because being right in some situations can make you feel happy but wanting to be right all the time will cause you to not learn from your mistakes. so honesty will lead you to happiness but being right all the time will not always make you feel happy. And another thing is doing right will also lead you to happiness because honesty is apart of doing the right thing.
Being right is not nearly as important as being happy. To respond to what Angel said, you’re just flipping around what I said the other day. When you used your example of your mom telling you to clean your room and you didn’t want to so you wanted to be right and leave your room dirty. In the end, you just wanted to be right because being right will make you happy. You’re not always going to be right and if that’s what makes you happy, then you’re not going to live a very happy life. So in the end being happy is more important than being right because once again you’re not always going to be right and you must accept that. We all have our moments when we’re wrong and we’re just going to have to get over it. If you don’t that will hold you hostage and you will never be a happy person.
Someone that likes to be right is selfish. Them always being right makes them happy. Most people have different veiws of being right. So if one person says the sky is blue another may say it’s white. The person that says it’s blue may argue until their point is proven. When the other person finally gives up one person will be HAPPY because they THINK they’re right. But of course anyone can be right it just depends on the views of that person. As stated before a person THINKING they’re right leads to their HAPPINESS.
Might as well start off saying, by holding it against you, I meant the entire debate will stick with me as 1) a lesson to try to compose thoughts in a logical order to other people than just to me and 2) when ever some sort of reminder of this comes up, I will just make a remark about how “I’m right, and happy.”
And personally I was all for happiness, but it was just that I saw how people were actually debating it. In a sense, everybody wanted to see that their opinion that being happy was important, was right. And since there were two sides, each most likely thought they were right, or more likely just going along with the teacher because they didn’t really form a strong opinion on the topic before the discussion. It is just that when you try to convey your idea, and you make a mistake in what you are saying, not everyone is so easy to forget. As I brought up a bad example in class that I couldn’t really explain the way I wanted to people would always TRY to find the negative in it.
The real point, in a well thought out nutshell is:
There were two sides, having happy results in a debate was important, or being right in the debate was important. But what was really the initiative of everybody in the debate, was to prove that their point was right. If it was really all about happiness, when somebody disagreed (and you thought they were wrong) you could just let them learn their lesson and brush it off. What I was trying to do was EXPOSE THIS INJUSTICE, not actually make people believe that causing unhappiness to be correct was a good thing.
Deuces.
Thank you for exemplifying the counterargument referenced in the post. Speak to your spiritual advisor asap. I, and all those around you, love you and hope for the best for you in your hopeless pursuit of perfection. My tolerance is almost immeasurable, but when I am brought to witness a person who would argue for the right to be right, and the argument itself is frought with errors on the technical level, I am forced to wonder where the individual’s priorities need be placed. Where are your priorities, young chum? Seek knowledge, dispell ignorance, broaden your horizons – THEN have an opinion. Opinions are justified after, I repeat, after we have a very broad knowledge base on which to set that opinion. Gather knoweldge and life experience . . . . Then, try to be happy only being right and perfect.
Seeing as how we are at the end of the line here, I should also like to ask, as I have on multiple previous occasions (pay for performance), that you check your spelling, capitalization, phrasing and use of punctuation.
To the masses who read this discussion and posts, I would request that someone clarify or simply rewrite the following statements,
“The ability for perfection or being right is basically what all humans strive for.”
“That is what everyone strives for perfection and being correct.”
“some people may argue that being happy is the ultimate goal, well that isn’t so.”
“you don’t wake up in the morning hopeing to be happy, but more-so having a perfect day which falls under having a correct or right day”
DEUCES !!
Some things that you mentioned I remember from our fourth block descussion, and I also agree with being right. The ability for perfection or being right is basically what all humans strive for. Whether what we want to be correct in is sociably acceptable such as tests or horrible human acts like commiting murders, we want to be perfect or right at it. That is what everyone strives for perfection and being correct. some people may argue that being happy is the ultimate goal, well that isn’t so. We try to be happy but most humans go for being correct instead. you don’t wake up in the morning hopeing to be happy, but more-so having a perfect day which falls under having a correct or right day